10 Years Ago Today-Part 2

My father and I were holding each other and crying when my four year old said, "What's wrong mommy?" I quickly tried wiping the tears away, as my father said, "Mama's just sad honey." I stammered to regain my composure as I went over to sit down beside him. "Ethan sweetie, that was the lady with your results from the test we've been taking." "What did she say mommy?" I choked down more tears as I pulled him closer, "She said you have something called diabetes. You have to stay in the hospital for a few days until we get things under control. Mommy will be right here and daddy will be here soon" to which I started crying again. "What's diabetes?" he asked innocently as he looked up at me with his big brown eyes and face full of freckles. "Well, sweetie, it's what Pappy has. Remember when you watch him test his blood sugars or get him juice when he goes low? You will have to do the same thing now too, but the doctors will teach us all about it and what daddy and I need to do to help you. Okay?"

During this time, my father was on the other side of the room, with tear-filled eyes and a pain stricken heart. I knew from the past, this was the last thing my father, my children's "Pappy" wanted for any of his loved ones. He felt a personal responsibility for Ethan, my four year old, developing diabetes. Yet, we both knew it was no ones fault. We couldn't have stopped this from happening. It was not in our power. It was only in the hands of the Lord now and all we could do was trust in Him. Ethan became concerned about both of us. "What's the big deal mommy? Why is Pappy crying?" I explained to him that Pappy was just sad like mommy and felt like it was his fault. "Pappy didn't do this. It's okay."

That was all it took for me to realize the strength of my little one and that he would always be my little hero! I knew he didn't understand the depth of what having diabetes meant, but yet, I was at peace knowing he was going to be alright. If it had to happen to one of my children, the Lord definitely knew which one could handle it, for this I was thankful.

It took awhile before they were able to get us into a hospital room. While we were waiting, I called my husband at work to give him the dreadful news. I heard his voice and immediately broke down yet again. It was hard to find the words. He was so sure that his lil' boy didn't have anything seriously wrong with him, yet I had to be the bearer of bad news. "Are they sure? Is there anything else it could be?" he questioned. He didn't want to accept the news anymore than the rest of us did. However, deep down he knew what this meant for Ethan and the years to come.